Our Father's Mustache

(Scene: A normal workday, more than likely midweek. Two office girls at their respective corporations; one in insurance, the other in aerospace, both underutilized. As phones ring and messages are delivered, an email is composed…and the rest is history).

K: So I have this new theory. It’s about swear words and unicorns.

L: Oh really? Bored today? Let’s hear this theory.

K: Yep. Ran out of work about an hour ago and there are still 6 to go…

L: I hear you. The blabbermouths won’t shut up today. Joe and I are IM’ing our frustrations back and forth.

(Note: Joe is a pivotal role in this story. Don’t discount him just because his name is Joe).

K: Ok, so, my theory is this: The F-word kills unicorns. That’s why we never see them around. They’re an endangered species, and I’m feeling quite responsible after my drive to work this morning.

L: Yeah, I probably killed like 8 on the BA this morning. That’s so sad. We have to stop the senseless deaths.

K: Exactly. Unicorns are wonderful and magical and what did they ever do to deserve our intense rage? We have to stop the madness.

L: I messaged Joe about your theory. He has input.

K: And I cannot wait to hear his input. Go.

L: Well, if something we say can kill unicorns, there must be another something we can say that would cause a unicorn to be born. The F-word isn’t a word you bust out just any old time unless you’re driving, so it would need to be the same with the unicorn creation word/phrase. Joe suggested “artisan sandwich,” but that’s kind of commonplace with Panera and Subway trying to class up the marketing. But I did like his other suggestion…

K: What was his other suggestion?

L: Our father’s mustache.

K: That’s beautiful. And a unicorn was just created.

L: See, it’s not such a common phrase, and mustaches can be unusual and unexpected, just like a unicorn.

K: I feel like we just invented glitter and rainbows.

L: We did. Because we are awesome. And we should never do drugs.

(End Scene)