(Scene: a regular Friday morning; our two favorite career girls begin their usual Friday morning routines. K is in a weekly 4 hour long meeting, L is wading through her que. And the best part of their respective Friday routines? The first email of the day.)
L: Happy first day of Autumn! I’m stoked about the Bonfire Bonanza!
K: Me too! It’s going to be a blast. YAY FALL!!!!!
L: Ok, I realize what I’m about to say may make me officially the creepiest person ever. I’ve been in Taylor la-la land since the concert- it’s bad. I was thinking about the night that I went to their New Year’s Eve party and how stupid I was for being so goo-goo ga-ga over B. and not even trying to hang out with /dance with/seduce any of the Hansons. Then I remembered Taylor’s girlfriend (now wife) was there anyway, so that plan couldn’t have worked out. THEN (now this is where it gets creepy), I started wondering if he and N. were pregnant yet at that point, since they got married like 4 or 5 months later and she was knocked up when they got married. I remembered E. was born on Halloween, so I pulled up a conception calculator and it estimates that they conceived on January 5th! Those calculators are only so accurate, so now I’m freaking out that Taylor and N. got pregnant the night I first met him, and if I had somehow intervened I could have prevented the whole thing! Ok that last part is a joke (mostly) but it IS super weird to me that they very well could have conceived that night. I think too much. Ok, I’m feeling embarrassed that my mind works this way so I’ll just leave it at that : – P
K: No, no, no; you’re not being creepy, you’re being a scientist! What some people would call info-stalking, we can call data gathering! Here are the facts:
- Hanson interests you.
- You had a hypothesis about the time space continuum and the mating rituals of beautiful people.
- You gathered the data and came up with a plausible situation.
- You also pondered time travel, which is Einsteinian in nature.
So there you have it! You’re not a creeper, you’re a genius of science. In conclusion: I just proved you’re completely normal. Or that we’re both insane. Either way….B. screwed your chances. OR…….you were an awesome girlfriend for ignoring Taylor.
L: I feel a whole lot less creepy now!
K: It’s because science isn’t creepy, it’s just really involved.
L: This is why we are best friends.
K: Because we’re both completely off our rockers?
L: Yes, but I think it makes us interesting.
Our Father's Mustache 