So many thoughts and so little rational thought process…
Today, the company I work for filed for bankruptcy. Which isn’t really as huge of a deal as it seems, at least not right now. Of course, when I say that it’s not a huge deal as of right now, it’s because I’m on so much cold medicine that I really don’t care about much aside from how soft my bed is and how glad I am that I put off car shopping for as long as I have because if I do get laid off, at least I won’t have a car payment (run-on sentence, say what).
Anyway, because I was in panic-mode earlier today, I decided to explore some alternate career options. This is what I came up with (and this is seriously what the list looked like):
- Pharmaceutical Sales: If worse came to worse, I could do this job. I have the educational background for it and while I think this field is morally bankrupt, at least they aren’t fiscally bankrupt.
- Editor at a publishing company: This would be great. The only issue is that the pay sucks and the field is notoriously cutthroat. If you want to get ahead, you have to prove it any way you can.
- Freelance writer/contributor for numerous publications:This would be a cool and very interesting job. The only issue is that I need group life insurance and there’s a good chance this job wouldn’t offer that.
- Hit-woman: I’d be an ideal hit-woman because no one would every think that I have it in me (because I don’t).
- Wife of a mob boss: I’m loyal and can keep my mouth shut.
- Pro-surfer: Yes, I’m dead serious on this one. We’d spend so much time on the beach at Fort Bragg, CA and up in Tulalip, WA that I love the ocean. I love body surfing and somehow, in all those years of beach-going and body surfing, nobody ever thought to bring a surfboard with us. I have a delusion that I could still make my teenage fantasy of being a pro-surfer come true.
- Reality Television: My best friend and I could totally have our own show. It would be on E! and come on before The Soup. The whole plot revolves around us coming to the realization that even though we did everything the right way (the right classes in high school, good grades, college, etc), we’re working in jobs that require no more education than a GED and a partially functioning brain. We decide to ease our troubles with wine and then become homeless winos who wear snuggies, live under a bridge, and have a squirrel and pigeon as pets. Or we could go on the Amazing Race, which would be pretty much the same storyline, except with more yelling and less snuggies.
- Publish a children’s book: This is actually the most feasible thing on this list.
So it’s obvious that I have options, some more viable than others but nonetheless options. And if worse comes to worse, I can always live in denial. We all know that’s the best way to cope with difficult situations anyway.
And as a side note; my day was not all bad. This is the list of good things that happened on this not so great tuesday:
- “You lost that loving feeling” and “Wake me up before you go, go” as sung by Mackey, who managed to somehow include “filing chapter 11 bankruptcy” in the lyrics.
- Princess Ladybug (I have the coolest boss)
- Emailing the bestie all day long about some really random stuff and also some serious stuff.
- I got a phone call from one of my really good friends and we got to talk for a couple hours. Laughing felt really good.
Our Father's Mustache 