(Scene: The dressing room at Target; our girl K decided that she would try on some swimsuits after work. Needless to say, that was a really, really bad idea. She decides to text L in an attempt to regain a rational view on the world…)
K: I tried on bikinis at Target.
L: Why would you do that to yourself? You know the lighting at Target is unflattering, and the multiway mirror doesn’t help.
K: I kind of want to die right now.
L: You are beautiful. Do not fall into this trap. Just remember all the “real” girls at Big Splash, and no one looks like a model in real life…except for models, and even they’re airbrushed.
(a few minutes later…)
K: Remember “match.com guy”?
L: Yeah, why?
K: He asked me out via facebook message, wanting to give it another shot…
L: Do NOT make an irrational decision while recovering from bikini shopping! Remember the cargo jeans? JUST SAY NO TO CARGO JEANS! You deserve better.
K: Ok, so I’m not being stupid by turning him down?
L: Do you remember how awkward that first date at Chipotle was? No, you’re not being stupid.
K: This is the second guy to ask me out via Facebook message within the month.
L: Well, at least you’re getting asked out.
K: Not by who I’d like…
L: Patience. Bestie date tomorrow night?
K: YES.
(Yet another reason my best friend is awesome; unconditional and honest support. End scene.)
Our Father's Mustache 
omg target dressing rooms are a cess pit of thwarted self confidence. Stay strong sister. You are not the problem.