(Scene: The couch. Our girl K is lounging around, snacking and watching the television, text messaging during the commercials. This is multitasking at its finest.)
K: I feel like such a jerk right now.
MR: Why?
K: I’m laying here on the couch eating Ruffles potato chips watching fat people struggle on TLC.
MR: You just made me literally laugh out loud.
K: Well, good. But I still feel like a jerk. I’m literally crunching away and thinking, “Aww. Those poor fat people. I need more chips.”
MR: You’re not a jerk. You’d be a jerk if you eating potato chips in front of a group having a “Weight Watchers” meeting.
K: That’s true.
MR: Besides, the people on TLC chose to put it all out there.
K: Sweet mother. Do people find this inspiring?
MR: I’m sure somebody does.
K: I think I might throw up.
(K decides to change the channel at the point in the show where a doctor begins draining fluid from open surgery wounds. It’s impossible to eat potato chips while watching that. End scene.)
Our Father's Mustache 