Our Father's Mustache

“I believe a woman’s body is her own and she has every right to do with it as she pleases.” – anonymous

I’m choosing to not reveal who said that out of respect of privacy, but it’s not like there’s only one person in their late twenties to feel that way. But this isn’t about abortion, like I’m sure you’re assuming it is. This is about mixed messages concerning females, their bodies, and what rights they have when it comes to sharing your body (or not).

I’m 28 and single, which means I have date every now and then. It’s been interesting (at least in my dating experience) to hear more than one guy declare that my body is my own and I have every right to make whatever choice I want to with it. It’s also been interesting to see how many of those guys decide not to continue seeing me when I make the choice NOT to sleep with them when I’m still trying to decide if I even like them or not.

So…I’m confused on multiple levels.

A) But you just said my body was my own to do whatever I want to with it…And because I chose to not sleep with you, you’re not going to talk to me ever again? Ohhhhhhh, okay! I get it! It’s my choice if it benefits you, right? You telling me to celebrate my sexuality by choosing to sleep with you as soon as I feel we might have some chemistry, and by me saying no, I’m clearly prudish and old fashioned and not on the same page as you regarding my feminist rights.

B) I’m sorry, but even if I think you’re someone I see myself with long-term, I’m not going to jump right into bed with you for the sake of gender equality. Certain thoughts come up in my mind if you are expecting some kind of sexual favor in return for a few coffee dates and dinner out, mainly; I LOVE coffee but not enough to exchange sex for a venti and also that I’m worth more than that.

C) You telling me that my body=my choice *but only if that choice is to reward you with sexual favors and terminate any pregnancies that could totally screw your finances over* doesn’t really seem to meet up with how you’re behaving now…so what you really should say in the future is “A Woman’s body is her own and she can do with it as she pleases, but I’d really like if she’d consider my needs and wants first and foremost because it IS a man’s world, and I am taking her out on dates, so she should really think about being a sweetheart and giving me what I want in return.”

This isn’t about which way I sway politically, but I will say this: it’s my body, and if I’m not comfortable in a situation, I have no problem telling you “no, I don’t want to have sex.” If that’s not the answer you’re looking for, then maybe you need to reconsider your opinions on respect and feminism.

I’m going to wrap up with this; My body belongs to me and I will NOT allow anyone to make me feel bad for making choices that are right for myself (again, this is not about abortion). If I don’t feel like you taking me out on a few coffee dates should be repaid with sex, then that is my choice and if it makes you mad, then you actually don’t respect my body or my choices and I’m glad you haven’t called me back. And if anyone EVER makes a choice that you are not comfortable with for you, you can say NO. And if saying no doesn’t work, and you are taken advantage of, get help. Even if it’s just talking to someone, you need to get some kind of help.

We’re in this together, girls. We can help each other out, as long as we’re vocal and honest.