I spend a lot (read: A LOT) of time on the internet because I’m generation y and if I’m not socially connected, I might as well not be alive (#somewhatsarcastic). What with being online pretty much 16+ hours of the day, I’ve noticed a strange phenom going down on the good ol’ interwebs: PEOPLE ARE FASCINATED BY INTROVERTS/INTROVERSION. Why?? WHY IS THIS A THING?!? I have seen one particular article on 27 signs you might be introverted posted on FB more times than I’ve seen the grumpy cat meme (and I’ve seen grumpy cat A LOT). This is weird. All of the sudden, extroverts are calling themselves introverts and I (and a whole lot of other introverts DON’T LIKE IT).
Why don’t we like it? Because we’re legit introverts and you all are making it seem like EVERYONE who likes writing songs or poems every now and then is an introvert! “OMG! My sister TOTALLY loves being quiet 30 minutes a day! She’s SUCH and introvert!!” No. She’s not.
1. Introverts are quiet because they’re observing situations before making any kind of decision. I don’t mean that you can’t observe situations as an extrovert, but introverts are more likely to have a harder time making decisions because they will think through every possible outcome and how it will affect everyone involved and by the time they finish thinking about all that, the moment has probably passed without one introverted word being spoken.
2. Extroverts enjoy attention. I’m not saying they like being in the direct spotlight, but if an extrovert didn’t enjoy attention, they wouldn’t be someone who vocalizes their thoughts/feelings/opinions freely. Introverts really don’t like a lot of attention. They do like some, but preferably in an intimate setting, with other people who are also introverted.
3. Being social EXHAUSTS the introvert. Like, if you force an introvert to do something social more than 2 days in a row, there will be some kind of meltdown/tears of frustration and fatigue. Why? Because most of an introvert’s conversations happen in their internal monologue. Get it? INTROVERTS ARE CONSTANTLY THINKING. Extroverts are like an action movie that most people like, and introverts are either an indie silent film that may or may not have subtitles or a book. A lonnnnnnng book.
4. Introverts cling to each other because we understand each others’ deep need for isolation. This isn’t to say that an introvert won’t have extroverted friends or significant others, but it’s more than likely that our close friends understand and respect our need for space.
5. There is a difference in an extrovert and an introvert trying really hard to be social. I personally have a trick I rely on wayyyyy too often: I think of my most outgoing friend and pretend to be them. Not like, in a creepy sociopath way, but in a quick reference way. How would this person respond to eye-contact and a handshake? Maintain eye-contact and ask a question! An extrovert sees this as a potential moment to make a friend. An introvert trying to be social sees this moment as though it’s a mid-term or final, and will probably start sweating and be REALLLLLLY nervous (more than what’s “normal”). Like a bank robber in a lie-detector test.
Here’s the deal; I love my extrovert friends deeply. I’m thankful for them because they keep conversation flowing while I have a “WWED” (what would an extrovert do) moment for the entire time. Extroverts and introverts are not better than each other, they’re equal. What stinks is that extroverts are more highly prized in today’s world than introverts and that’s unfortunate.
Next time you’re at a party and you see someone who looks like they don’t really know what to do, approach them. Ask them their name. Become their friend for the night (unless they act really skeezed out by you, then move on). There’s a good chance that they aren’t unfriendly, they might just not know anyone or be intimidated by large groups of people. Or maybe that person isn’t an introvert and is just having a bad night and wants to be quiet. That’s cool too.
I guess what it comes down to is the golden rule: treat others how you would like to be treated. Tonight as I stood by myself thinking, “Man, I wish I knew someone at this party so I could have fun too,” I saw someone who looked like she didn’t really know anyone. I decided that instead of just hoping she’d come talk to me (how I’d like to be treated), I’d go talk to her (treating her). Turns out, I made a friend and I had a really fun night. Yes, I even really enjoyed cleaning up the kitchen (I LOVE cleaning up kitchen stuff. I don’t know why, but it’s sooooo relaxing).
Our Father's Mustache 